Taoismus: Shit happens. Konfuzianismus: Confucius say “Shit happens”. Buddhismus: If shit happens, it really isn´t shit. Siebentageadventisten: Not shit on saturdays. Zen: What is the sound oft shit happening? Hedonismus: There´s nothing like a good shit happening. Hinduismus: This shit happend before. Mormonen: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Stoizismus: This shit is good for me. Hare Krshna: Shit happens rama rama. Christliche Wissenschaften: Shit is in your mind. Existentialismus: What is this shit away. Moon: Only happy shit really happens. Rastafari: Let´s smoke this shit. Juden: Why does this shit always happen to us? Protestantismus: Let the shit happen to someone else. Calvinismus: Shit happens because you don´t work hard enough. Katholizismus: Shit happens because you are bad. Atheismus: Shit!